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Joke of the Day

"Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right. Me: yes, because if I thought you were right, I wouldn't be arguing..."

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"For all the single ladies out there, here is my number: 4/10"
"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? [fixed] You can hang the picture with only one nail."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beets ! Beets who ? Beets me but I just forgot the joke !"
"coworker: those are some crazy socks me: well I guess th- socks: THE GOVERNMENT RECORDS ALL OF OUR PHONE CALLS & IS HIDING UFO EVIDENCE"
"Oregon Trail 2016: Jayden has a gluten allergy. You can't even ford the river rn. Purchase one woke of oxen? Madison is literally dead"
"How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue toast to the ceiling"
"The ""bishop"" came to our church today He was a fucking impostor. Never once moved diagonally."
"Why did Alexander Graham Bell never receive a nobel prize? Because it's a ""no bell"" prize."
"My favourite Celine Dion song is the one where it's muted all the way through."