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Joke of the Day

"You can just start calling yourself an olympic hopeful. You don't have to fill out a form or anything."

"I'm a responsible adult Last night I had a salad for dinner. It was a fruit salad and had grapes. Lots of grapes. It was all grapes. It was wine"

"Whats the least paying job? British dentist."

"If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & you got your dogs from the shelter.... How do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?"

"LPT: Always sneeze when calling in sick to work So your boss always ""nose"" that you are really sick."

"What is the painless frequency? 0 Hz"

"Do scarecrows really work? No, but because they don't register for benefits, they don't count as unemployed either."

"Why are hot pickle buns so popular in polish women's prisons? They're made out of dill dough."

"I want you to be completely honest with me as long as you're only pointing out my strengths."

"Me? Racist? No way! Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people."