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Joke of the Day

"Mom She gave me life She gave me love She gave me sarcasm She gave me the ability to cut brake lines so that it looks like an accident."

"How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard? Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre"

"What do you get if a post office burns down? Black mail."

"Everything Must Go? You should have had that attitude before going out of business."

"I bought pink cotton, but my wife wanted purple. So I killed her."

"At work today I noted that it's difficult to see yellow marker on white paper... My Asian coworker said, ""Are you trying to say you can't see white and yellow together?"""

"What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor."

"water Water Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. l"

"In the past, U.S.A. has had for president..... Bush senior, Bush junior and now Bush groper."

"Trevor: That's a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green. Jill: Yes and I have another pair just like it at home."