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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if a post office burns down? Black mail."

"Current anger level: I am last-beer-in-the-fridge-turns-out-to-be-a-soy-sauce-bottle angry."

"How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb? I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!"

"Why are cigars unhealthier than cigarettes? Because they're fatter."

"Why did the female pirate turn lesbian? Because she did not like sea-men."

"""Lady In Red"" is my favorite song about a guy that's trying to get laid even though he can't remember her goddamn name."

"Why does the divorced guy keep a tampon on the top of his tv set? To remind him of the cunt that has his DVD player."

"I'm sorry, but I absolutely detest law firms that do pro bono work. I fucking hate U2."

"What do Muslims do at a Rammstein concert du fast"

"My mom just put a pic on Facebook that says, ""Share if your daughter is beautiful AND smart."" She tagged my sister."