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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about living with Alzheimer's? I forgot"

"How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek? Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME"

"What do priests have in common with my dad's BBQs? They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns."

"There's a girl that I hate in my office that's white but looks like 'Precious'. I've been calling her ""Pressure"" & blaming my farts on her."

"Dad, is that dog over there a wiener dog? Son, with enough peanut butter every dog is a wiener dog."

"Shopping with girlfriend, she says, ""let's go down this aisle."" Me - K. Why? Her - It's a surprise. Me - K. Why? Her - Just grab that. *points* Me - K. Why? Her - KY. Me - K... Her - Y."

"Why is the part of a woman between her hips and her breasts called a waist? Because they could have easily fitted in another pair of tits there..."

"Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies."

"if you tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry they will clean it for free"

"I named my son Gram It's short for Grammar because he was supposed to be a period."