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Joke of the Day

"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Obviously more than 8, because my basement is still dark."

"Why can't iron oxide get a date? Porque es FeO Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys."

"Why did the toast drop his ice-cream? He had butterfingers!"

"Please. Danger is my middle name. ""What's your first name?"" Avoids"

"I tried mugging an old aged pensioner yesterday. I said, ""Give me all your money now, bitch, or you're geography."" ""Don't you mean history?"" she replied. I said, ""Don't try to change the subject."""

"Want to know how to lose 100 pounds? Go to the London casino..."

"[1st date] HER: My favorite movie is Zoolander, how bout u? ME: OMG SAME HER: What part's ur fave? ME: Um [sweating] when he lands a zoo"

"YO momma so fat that they had to install speed bumps at all you can eat buffet"

"I just had a wicked threesome on the kitchen floor. Me, Nyquil and Vodka. I'll be walking funny tomorrow!"

"Why does a penis have a hole in the end? So men can be open minded"