26666

Joke of the Day

"Sorry Amanda. There will be no second date. First off, the plural of shrimp IS shrimp. Not shrimps. Also it's pronounced sammon, not sallman"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid to have a lentil on me."

"Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise .... Was Rock Of Ages really that bad?"

"I was eliminated as a contestant on Fear Factor after running screaming from a bee."

"What do you call an African who plays 10 pin bowling online? Ebola."

"What's the Wifi password in a mosque? AllahIsTheOne2345"

"If a picture frame doesn't have the word ""memories"" written on it in giant cursive letters, how do I know what I'm looking at?!"

"Wished my wife a 'Happy Valentine's ay!' I'll give her the D later."

"What do you say to a person at a funeral held at 10 A.M.? Good mourning."

"Siri: Retweet me."