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Joke of the Day

"Not saying I deserve a gold medal in parenting, but it's 4:47 PM and my 4yo just yelled ""FINE THEN, I'M GOING TO BED!"" So you be the judge."

"I love pteradons They're my favorite dinosoars."

"Thank you for explaining the word ""many"" to me. It means a lot."

"What do you call Sting 5 minutes ago? Stung."

"It feels like every time I look at the time it's 9:11 I hope this doesn't get me on a watch list."

"What did one sperm say to the other? How are we gonna find an egg in all this shit?!"

"""Nine Foods You Should Never Eat Again"" Also known as the contents of my refrigerator."

"Why is the topmost floor the best place to drink in? That's how you set the bar high."

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."

"You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nites and so does she."