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Joke of the Day

"folks this is your captain, we're reaching an altitude of 69,000ft. the plane can't fly this high so we're gonna crash, but it was worth it."

"Weed strin humor At the dispensary there is a strain called Aldous Huxley. If you smoke it with your wife she becomes sterile. #LegalWeedJokes"

"What's the difference? What's the difference between a midget acrobatic team and a girls track team? The midgets are a bunch of cunning runts."

"What's better than roses on a piano Tulips on an organ."

"My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids."

"What sound do two photons make when they hit each other? \*Planck!*"

"Sometimes when I play a game on my computer, the screen goes dark and I see my own reflection in the screen and wonder what I am doin with my life ..then the next level starts."

"Just thought this one up: What do Jay Leno and Payton Manning have in common? They both know when it's time to turn things over."

"You've got to hand it to little babies because their stupid little arms can't reach anything"

"What's the best thing about Sweden? I can't pick, but their flag is a huge plus."