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Joke of the Day

"Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven? They were too GUI."

"What do you call a happy husband? Broke."

"What do you call a sleepwalking Nun? A Roamin' Catholic!"

"All of the construction that was slowing down traffic during the summer is over now. I don't know why they can't repair those cones indoors."

"Writing a chemistry exam tomorrow Learned that I can't trust atoms...they make up everything :p"

"Now I have 2 accounts a friend suggested I retweet myself when I'm bored. Sounds like my sex life at the moment"

"""C'mon, your relationship isn't *that* serious."" - Las Vegas"

"[emergency room] DOCTOR: Point to what's causing you the most pain ME: I can't, they're at home playing xbox"

"Did you know they were trying to ban MSG? It was called law 13 due to the fact that it abolished savory....I will show myself out."

"My fire alarm keeps going off. I think it's because my girlfriend keeps coming in. She is smoking hot."