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Joke of the Day

"Damn it's cold out. Better wear a coat, hat, gloves & boots. Sorry legs, you're still getting pants only, thanks for doing all the work tho"

"Rape Such a short word for such a long sentence."

"A midget walks into a bar.. he`s wearing a T-shirt that reads ""I hate all Paki`s"" I thought to myself....""that`s a little racist"""

"Everyone my age is older than me..."

"Why do aliens only abduct white people? Because they are easier to see in the dark."

"What economic theory opposes manscaping? Laissez-fur!"

"How many redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5/7"

"I can do a great impersonation of a hipster. I'd show it to you but it's not mainstream, you probably wouldn't get it."

"What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster."

"I hate when my cat brings in a dead bird and I have to pretend I enjoy eating it so I don't hurt his feelings"