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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I'm about to sneeze, I snort some glitter. Then when I finally sneeze, glitter fills the air and people think I'm a wizard."

"Watch My lesbian friend gave me a Timex for my birthday. I don't think she understood me correctly when I said I wanna watch."

"Why was the panda crying? He had a bambooboo. Aonther one from my 9 year old."

"I'm an oceanographer working at the Mariana trench. I love my job but its starting to effect my sex life. I'm under a lot of pressure at work."

"""There's no use crying over spilt milk."" Unless you spill it on a winning Powerball ticket, then you should probably cry."

"The first rule of cliff hanger club is"

"My brother told me hates my beard. I said ""Don't worry, it will grow on you"""

"Did You Hear About the Man Who Went to The North Pole? He isn't doing so hot."

"Remember, Christmas isn't about how big your tree is, or what's under it. It's about who's around it."

"There are two types of guys: those who pee in the shower and those who don't admit it."