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Joke of the Day

"[loudly in front of a bunch of ducks] ""OH NO I SEEM TO HAVE BROUGHT TOO MUCH BREAD WITH ME WHATEVER SHALL I DO?"" *ducks try to play it cool*"

"Someone told me they were getting colored contacts, and I said ""aren't all their eyes just brown?"" that was a complete misunderstanding."

"whats a similarity between colorado and saudi arabia? It's legal to get stoned"

"In response to Wikipedia's ""price of a cup of coffee is all we need"" fundraiser. I like my coffee like my wikipedia. Free!"

"69 Position I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes."

"eer booze and fun!' 'A guy walks into a bar carrying a pair of jumper cables. He sets 'em down on the bar. And then the bartender said ""Now dont you start anything!!"""

"Are you ever going to use those Styrofoam plates? No, they're not biodegradable. Well throw them away then!"

"My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday."

"What do gay horses eat? Horse dick"