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Joke of the Day

"Knowledge is knowing that papers are best written with alcohol and edited with caffeine. Wisdom is realizing that this does not make a Jagerbomb a study tool"

"There are two types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"Joke: In my intro to archaeology lab, I had a pop-quiz about bones in the human body I couldn't find that humerus either"

"What do neo-Nazis do on Hitler's birthday? Heil if I know"

"A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"What did the woman say after 5 guys came on her for a porn video? Thank you all for coming!"

"How to comfort a homosexuals family if hes in a coma? You can always say ""well, look at it this way; he was a fruit, now hes a vegetable!"""

"My Dream is to Become the World's Best Procrastinator... But I'll start chasing my dreams another day, I don't feel like it now."

"How did the detective solve his cold-case? He put it in a conviction-oven."

"Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes? It would only admit one."