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Joke of the Day
"Having a tan is attractive. Having skin sponsored by Doritos isn't."
Next Joke
"When it comes to self deprecation I'm the just worst."
"Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack."
"I bought a Delorean R/C car today. I accidentally ran it at full speed. I guess I'll have to wait about 10 years to get it back."
"Let's count to 10.000"
"Great, yet another drive-in movie ruined by the neighbors saying I can't park on their lawn and watch movies through the living room window."
"Some subs... Are not the OP."
"A lawyer is offered two cases... He can either defend a rapist or defend a burglar. He says: ""I'll defend the rapist, I love when people get fucked."""
"I am listening carefully, but let's be honest, your menu options haven't changed."
"I was in bed with a girl and she said to me, ""I want you to make me scream"". So I said, ""OK. I'll just go outside, put on a ski mask and then kick your front door in. That usually works."""