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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a wino eating grapes? Impatient."

"""The hits just keep on coming."" - A radio Dj/abusive parent."

"Age is just a number? I stole $100 from your wallet and replaced it with a $5. Don't worry, they're just numbers."

"What do you call a wall st. executive that sucks at his job and is obsessed with his ex girlfriend? A broke stalker!"

"I found the secret to r/Jokes Ctrl + C Ctrl + V"

"I accidentally bought a bicycle that has no seat it's not a deal breaker but it's kind of a pain in the ass."

"Why does everyone love Plato? Because he loved Dogs and he had two sons named Plato and Socrates"

"Why didn't Mayweather become an NFL QB? Because he couldn't READ the defense!"

"What do schizophrenic people think when they say an insensitive joke? That sounded a lot better in my head"

"Is this your 1st video conference call? *Takes HUGE bong rip* *Holding it in* umm no So you're aware we can see you? *Cough* what *cough*"