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Joke of the Day

"What do schizophrenic people think when they say an insensitive joke? That sounded a lot better in my head"

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"What does 80 year old pussy taste like? Depends."
"Calculus derives me crazy!!"
"I'm in a complex relationship My girlfriend is imaginary."
"I opened the microwave without knocking and caught my hot dogs touching tips."
"everyday im faced w/ a choice b/w good & evil. i try to be good but why woud i ever choose MIRACLE whip when i can hav a HELL MANS MAYONAISE"
"Another poor soul worked at a company making blankets. He lost his job when the company folded."
"What file archiver do Tigers use? Win-Rawr."
"Your mother is so classless... .. she could be a marxist utopia"
"I'm expended, I'm expensive, And I'm expanded. ... Ijkwim."