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Joke of the Day
"my wife usually fills up our car with gas *she farts a lot*"
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"What is a ginger author doing when they plant a misleading clue in their book? Red hairing."
"Reddit has gone so dark that it just got shot in the back by a cop"
"The first mate on a pirate ship sees the captain with a wheel in his pants... The first mate asks why the helm is there and the captain replies, ""Yar, it's drivin' me nuts."""
"Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go fuck yourself."
"I'm jobless. I'm making a career out of it."
"Think of a number 1 through 10. Double it, Subtract 1, add 20, multiply it by 5, add 2, divide by 2, close your eyes, dark, isn't it?"
"Two elephants are in a bathtub..... One says to the other, ""pass the soap"". The other elephant promptly responds, ""no soap, radio!"""
"""Welcome, teachers & parents, to our community school assembly"" *gestures to 237 IKEA boxes* ""Let's begin! Who's got the Allen wrench?"""
"How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything? Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one? Me : Today's."