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Joke of the Day

"What happens when Bosnian terrorists start attacking municipal government buildings? It Herzegovina"

"What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute? You only cry when you're cutting up one. Sorry if this is too 'dirty' a joke, just a change of pace I guess."

"The year is 2543. Beyblades are a form of currency. Everyone speaks in emoji. President Woof outlaws all cats. Madonna releases a new single"

"There are 4 stages in life 1)You believe in Santa Claus 2)You don't believe in Santa Claus 3)You are Santa Claus 4)You look like Santa Claus"

"You can tell a lot about someone by the tank top they wear. For instance, if they wear a tank top, they're probably a dick."

"My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he's a lamp...what does he know...."

"Women on twitter tell me my beard is hot Women in real life tell me where I can find food and shelter ."

"Q: What is 74 to a blonde? A: 69 plus VAT"

"Friend: How many calories does heartache burn? Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire."

"How do you tell when a girl really wants you? When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse."