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Joke of the Day
"Guys that work at animal shelters get all the bitches."
Next Joke
"Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements? Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium. (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)"
"Latvian potato eating contest. Latvia man enter contest eat potato. Many other contestants. Contest start. Is no potato. All men sad. And hungry."
"TIFU by accidentally giving my vegetarian girlfriend my Italian Sandwich from quizno's instead of her Veggie Delight Sandwich. Oops wrong sub."
"Funny how when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls, he's a stud... But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of studs, she's doing horse porn."
"Q: Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore? A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)"
"Why are Black people so fast? [Don't say it in public] ... because all the slow ones are in Jail"
"They say that penis size is directly related to shoe size. Which makes the fear of being raped by a clown that much scarier."
"Instead of smiling and nodding through a conversation, try clapping and nodding. People will stop talking to you."
"You can't know a person well until you live with them. You can't know them really well until you divorce them."