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Joke of the Day

"Fingerprints are proof that God doesn't trust us"

"Just so you know, people who don't give a fuck don't talk about how much they don't give a fuck all the fucking time."

"what did the peanut say to the squirrel ??? he said im hungry and I'm as tired as a tree"

"Did you hear about the Florida pastor's Quran burning? His actions are incendiary."

"What do you call a Pakistani music group? A tali-band."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but it takes a very long time and the light bulb has to really want to change."

"Dang you got a good deal on your tattoo and the squirrel's so realistic. What? A portrait of your Mom? Dude I wish my Mom was a squirrel."

"My love is like a candle, if you forget me, i will burn your fucking house down"

"I guess I'll go to your party but answer the next question VERY CAREFULLY: will there be a cheese tray"

"if she's old enough to bleed she's old enough to have decisions about her healthcare be in the hands of old white men"