24995

Joke of the Day

"There's a lot of pretty woman at spring because during other seasons you appreciate them with your brain."

"Two blondes walk into a building... You would think one of them would see the building coming."

"How do you catch a slutty bee? With a hornet."

"""Could you eat scrambled eggs even if you had no saliva?"" and other things my wife did not want to talk about at brunch"

"Why don't you hear any knock knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings."

"You think you're going to win this? I've been acting out potential fake arguments in the shower for years. You don't stand a chance."

"I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it."

"The average time it takes for an elderly woman to get her ringing cellphone out of her purse is 11 days."

"What's the difference between boy scouts and Jews? Boy scouts come back from camp."

"What do you call it when you kill an important donkey? An Assassassination. I made it up when I was seven and to this day its the only thing I've ever made up that resembles a joke."