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Joke of the Day

"Dearest wife, The war on Christmas goes well. We found an elf stronghold & cut off its candy cane supply lines. Last night, they ate Donner."

"Don't worry, husbands. If something should happen to you, your wife already has the next one lined up."

"I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken I didn't know where to start."

"Then: Me: I want McDonald's Mom: Do you have McDonald's money? Now: Mom: I want grandkids Me: Do you have grandkids money??"

"Emotions are like shit Sometimes you've gotta let it out"

"How do farmers count their cows? With a Cowculator!!"

"I hate it when guys use pickup lines like, 'Hey, what's your friend's name?' on me. Worst pickup line ever."

"A termite walks into a bar and asks: ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"Did you hear about Klu Klux Knievel's latest stunt? He tried to jump a steam roller over 6 blacks"

"What's meaner than a pitbull with herpes? The guy who gave it to the pitbull."