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Joke of the Day

"Honey, give me the baby. -Wait until he cries -Until he cries..? Why..? -Because I can't find him..."

"When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just ""Morning,"" don't be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ ""Noon."" Seriously, what did ya expect?"

"If sexual frustration could be transferred into a usable energy source, I would be sitting on a gold mine"

"why send male soldiers into war women on there period is good enough"

"How do make a car top? 'Tep on the brake 'tupid."

"A man goes to the library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide, the librarian turns around and says ""fuck you, you wont bring it back"""

"A Jewish girl says to her dad ""Dad, I need fifty dollars."" Her dad looks at her and says ""Forty dollars, what do you need thirty dollars for?"""

"Why do Santa and Mrs. Claus not have any children? ...because Santa comes but once a year"

"My niece was born with no eyelids, bless her heart, but the doctors were able to replace them with surgically removed foreskin... Only side effect is she's a little cock-eyed now."

"What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !"