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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys see the movie about the hotdog? It was an Oscar Wiener"

"The recipe said to crush the garlic So I told it, ""You'll never amount to anything!"""

"Mitt Romney announcing he's not running for president is like Johnny Depp announcing there won't be a sequel to Mortdecai."

"Did you know frogs can jump higher than houses? This is for two reasons: 1. Frogs have extremely strong hind legs. 2. Houses can't jump."

"What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their last big hits were The Wall."

"Divorce is tough on some kids Others are just happy to be single again."

"I have a buddy that likes to have sex with inanimate objects. We don't hang out much. He's always got stuff to do."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar And a table, and a chair"

"Say ""Oh my God"" 5x fast, then say ""I got 'em"" 5x fast.. Have you found Jesus? Lol, jk.. But they sound pretty similar, don't they?"

"How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she's the one."