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Joke of the Day

"""Use the forceps, Luke!"" - Obi Gyn Kenobi"

"What steps do you take if you encounter a bear in the wild? Fucking big ones!"

"What do biographers and serial killers have in common? Multiple life sentences."

"I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents. Apparently you can't lie on your resume."

"What does a neckbeard tip his fedora to in soviet russia? ""M'otherland"""

"My wife said she wouldn't have sex with me until I did everything on the ""To-Do list"" So I scratched out **#1** ""*Wash the car*"" and replaced it with ""*Have a three-some with Becky and Wife*"""

"What's the only thing better than a gold medal at the Paralympics? Legs"

"My fortune cookie read ""End of roll. Replace"""

"Why did Jared go to a Goat farm? He heard there was lots of Kids there."

"What do they say when you leave an abortion clinic in Germany? Al-fetus-zane"