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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sleep walking nun? A roamin' Catholic."

"It's called a runway. But you taxi there. In a plane. Go home English, you're drunk."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. First they beat the room for being black, then they arrest the light bulb for being broke."

"Why did Scottish baby sneeze? It got week old."

"*puts arm around you* You've been burned before but, you're safe with me. Let your gaurd down, girl. *steals your pizza*"

"I was walking past a chemist when... I got hit with a bottle of omega-3. Its ok I only suffered super-fish-oil injuries."

"""Hi. I'm an insane maniac."" - People who write more than three sentences to describe an Instagram photo"

"""What did Fifty Cent say to his Grandmother when she made him a sweater?"" ""GEE, YOU KNIT!?!?"""

"Donald - Knock knock Hilary- Who's there? Donald - Interrupting Donald Trump Hilary - Interrupting Don--- Donald - WRONG!"

"News: IKEA pledges 1 billion euros to help slow climate change. But knowing IKEA, it will take forever to put the money together."