24834
Joke of the Day
"barn owls must have been stoked when the barn was invented"
Next Joke
"Procrastination is a dish best served tomorrow."
"I said ""your right"" to my husband this morning. He thought I said ""you're right"" but I didn't. So I win."
"Which book has the worst cliffhanger? Anne Frank's Diary"
"I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote ""dentists are liars"" into my phone. Not really sure what the plan is with that."
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
"So I go in for my physical... And the doctor says ""I need a semen, stool, and urine sample."" I say ""Gee doc, I'm in a big hurry. Can I just leave my underwear?"" *Taken from Bill Paxton in Predator 2.*"
"What is it called when someone gets destroyed at online chess? Extreme Pawnage"
"What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger..."
"My therapist encouraged me to stop bending over backwards for people. But just between us, I really miss yoga."