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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ? Russell !"

"Twitter is considering a 10,000-character limit for tweets. Well, there goes the neighborhood."

"What do you do to dead chemists? You barium."

"Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?"

"Your momas so fat... You just lost the game inb4 downvotes and madfags"

"Just place a STUDENT DRIVER sticker on top of your car, and suddenly no one suspects you of drunk driving at 8am."

"why does everyone want the new white iphone? don't they know the black one runs faster?"

"[gf comes home after spray tanning] Hey, orange you looking good! ""Thanks"" Anytime, pumpkin! ""You're sweet"" You're one in vermillion!"

"I asked my friend if he ever went skiing. . . ""Not in real life, only in Florida."" "

"Has anything happened since 2008? I've been looking down at my phone."