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Joke of the Day

"Apocalypse cheese I bought some apocalypse cheese. It said best before the end."

"Bosses are like diapers... Always on your ass and normally full of shit"

"Batman would probably be a better crime-fighter if he wasn't making movies all the time."

"If I was a DJ... I'd wanna be called JD Dyslexic."

"A guy says to his friend, ""we should open a joint bank account."" His friend says, ""what for?"" The guy says, ""I just told you, weed money!"""

"CNN: ""Chess grandmaster, 20, dies in parkour balcony fall"" Shoulda castled earlier."

"Me: BARTENDER! Bring me another beer. Him: Mom, I'm doing my homework. Me: *claps* Star! Him: I hate Twitter. Me: *belch* blocked."

"What is an Hommish woman's fantasy? Two Mennonite"

"If you're having second thoughts, you're two ahead of most people."

"Why did the bowling pins stop working? They went on strike!"