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Joke of the Day
"Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide."
Next Joke
"An Ethiopian dance party Tape a piece of bread to the ceiling ""Put you hands in the air like you just don't care"""
"I told my wife I lost 10 lbs in one hour ""No way. That's impossible!"" she said. ""Trust me,"" I said, ""I have no idea where our baby is."""
"Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None the sockets go with the house."
"What came first? The chicken, the egg or millions of years of evolution that are ignored by a stupid fucking idiom."
"Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car."
"Questions we just don't answer when kids ask: Where do babies come from? Is Santa real? What was Myspace?"
"Hey Girl is your Dad an Astronaut??Because I'm from Nasa. There has been a terrible accident at the Space Station and he is dead"
"I remember.. going to a store with 20$ and coming home with groceries to last for a week. But now? Damn security cameras everywhere.."
"DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance. ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance. DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies]"