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Joke of the Day

"I remember.. going to a store with 20$ and coming home with groceries to last for a week. But now? Damn security cameras everywhere.."

"How did the blind kid burn the side of his face? He answered the iron"

"My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say 'It's so cold out!' and I say 'It's winter' and then we silently hate each other."

"Why did Hitler lose World War II? Because his Reich exceeded his grasp."

"What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car? A convertible."

"A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar... He sits down and orders a drink."

"Why is paper money more valuable than coins? When you put it in your pocket you double it and when you take it out you find it in creases. -"

"Did you see that awesome joke on reddit? Yeah, I reddit.."

"Dear un-followers, I feel sorry for you... Your timeline will no longer be sexy. Sincerely, me"

"Why can't a T-Rex clap it's hands? Because it's dead"