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Joke of the Day
"A thief tripped and fell into wet cement... He became a hardened criminal."
Next Joke
"DraftKings/Fanduel Anyone know where I can find a promo code?"
"You're so fat, they oughta call your dick ""Gary Oldman"" ...Cause it always disappears into a roll."
"Trump and a mate were getting drinks at a bar..... After a few drinks..... Trump: What is the useless skin around a woman's pussy? Mate: I have no idea. Trump (with a smirk): The rest of the woman!"
"It's hard to look like a badass when you're slurping on a strawberry smoothie."
"What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend? Having to drop the bomb twice before she gets it."
"My girlfriend told me that if I were a tree, she'd want me to be a Christmas tree so she could spruce me up I told her she'd probably be a huge birch"
"Smirnoff bought pabst Now traded as pab-smir"
"John Fogerty's ""Centerfield"" makes no sense. I'm pretty sure he'd fly first-class."
"I remember the last thing my granpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. he said, ""hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""