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Joke of the Day

"I've got a drug test tomorrow at work Good thing I know loads about drugs =)"

"What do you call a fish that eats shit? A bottom feeder."

"I'm trying to get down to my original weight... 7lbs 3oz."

"Why did God have no sense of humor when putting the planets in order? because he didn't want to put Uranus at the end of the solar system"

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes."

"Someone stole my mood ring. I dont know how i feel about that."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Heisenberg Heisenberg who? I am the one who knocks *I'm bracing for a lot of downvotes*"

"Does anybody know whats heart does? Beats me"

"I was nervous my first day in, so I walked up to the toughest guy in the cafeteria and knocked him out... but I lost my job as a middle school teacher"

"listen here best buy employee, the constitution says I'm entitled to the pursuit of happiness, so i am taking this will smith dvd ok?"