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Joke of the Day

"I get my best showering ideas when I'm writing jokes."

"I got a call from Egypt today. They tried to get me involved in a pyramid scheme. (Credit to my wife for this one)"

"Read an article that said Google is making us dumber. whatever, I've always used Google and I'm super [googles synonym for smart] able."

"How do you disappoint a pack of redditors? [removed]"

"[1st day as a paramedic] me: can you point to where it hurts cyclist: [points at his severed leg at the other side of the road]"

"The secret to my amazing vegan burgers is real beef."

"I broke up with my girlfriend on a ski trip Our relationship was going downhill."

"My sheep friends asked me to find them some drugs so I went to the local animal dealer... Pablo Escobaaaaaa"

"Hey girl, are you bacteria? Because I know I need you but I have no idea why."

"Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too"