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Joke of the Day

"I get my best showering ideas when I'm writing jokes."

"Is there a Twitter acronym for ""Ur screenshot tweet is really funny, but my anxiety about ur phone battery % prevents me from enjoying it""?"

"If the number 666 is considered evil ..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil? Edit: My first gold! Thank you kind stranger."

"If only Lord Ram used Apple maps to reach Ayodhya, Beijing would have been celebrating Diwali today."

"How to catch a polar bear. Dig a hole in the ice and line it with peas. Then when he goes to take a pea just kick him in the ice hole."

"A vegan invited my friends and I to a vegan restaurant.... the food really lettuce down."

"So a pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender asks him why he has the wheel on him, and the pirate replies ""YARR! IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!"""

"Dinner guests coming over later and I got nothing. Does anyone know how to turn beef jerky back into steaks?"

"Where do pirates go after they are thrown out of Kansas? Arkansas"

"What day do most mothers give birth? Labor day."