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Joke of the Day

"Why is being in the military like having sex? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel."

"What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire."

"What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow? He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit."

"Damn girl, are you a Unix based printer? Because my lp0 is on fire!"

"A Truck full of terrapins going north and a truck full of tortoises going south... They collide. It was a turtle disaster."

"Have you ever worked on a farm.. Because you sure know how to raise my cock!"

"The next terrorist attack has apparently been launched in the stall next to me in this Target bathroom."

"Nobody's abs are good enough to convince anyone to move to Iowa."

"Obama is the first president to visit a federal prison. Hes also the first black man to be let OUT of a federal prison"

"TIFU trying to have sex and it went horribly wrong. 1 simple trick to make it to reddits front page."