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Joke of the Day

"I had a friend who got fired working in a urine testing lab.... he wouldn't say why but personally, I think, it was because he was taking the piss..."

"Why did the semen cross the road... ....because I put the wrong sock on today"

"I don't feel sorry for people who waited until the last minute to do their taxes... I finished mine over a year ago..."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord. My ass!"

"I think it's fun how Hollywood gets to make as many Superman movies as they want until they get it right."

"When is the best time to buy budgies ? When they're going cheap !"

"Because it ruins the joke. Why should you never mix up the title and the punchline?"

"If you are cold just stand in a corner They are usually around 90 degrees"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't fuck my pizza before I toss it in the oven for dinner."

"[travels back in time to warn 12 year old me about playing video games too much] you become fat and lazy and-whoa Mortal Kombat 2 scoot over"