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Joke of the Day

"1938: ""It's a bird!"" ""It's a plane!"" ""It's... Superman!"" 2013: ""Is that a drone?"" ""Yeah, it's probably a drone."""

"What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? I can't gargle sand."

"scared the postman i scared the postman today by showing up to the door completely naked. im not sure what scared him more, the fact that i was naked, or that i knew where he lived"

"I don't know how I feel about masturbation anymore... On one hand, it's pretty good. On the other hand, it's a little awkward."

"new tattoo My wife has a new tattoo. its a shell on the inside of her thigh. when i put my ear to it i can smell the sea..."

"Lazy thought by my girlfriend Her: ""Why is it Bees Knees, Why not Bees Nuts?"" (Deez nuts)"

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra That's the joke"

"gf: i'm breaking up with you. me: is it my drinking habits? gf: well it... me: *interrupts with empty cup straw-sipping noise for 2 minutes*"

"How do you get a blowjob in Flint, MI Pour bottled water over your dick."

"wy does santa have so many kids? he has all the ho ho ho's"