2395

Joke of the Day

"I wish my thumbs had the power of Pandora. I would give people the thumbs down & they'd instantly disappear & be replaced w/ a better one."

"What do women and penny stocks have in common? If you hold on to them too long instead of pumping and dumping them, you'll lose all your shit."

"If I was in the military, I would be a sniper. That way I can lie down a lot."

"Have you heard of the new deodorant called umpire? It's for foul balls!"

"Why don't ants get sick? Because of their tiny little anty bodies"

"What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing."

"What do you call a Crazy female deer? A doenut"

"How does a frog fasten two objects together? Rivets."

"How do you know if someone is a vegetarian? He is going to tell you."

"Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop."