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Joke of the Day
"Do you guys remember that party at Bill Cosby's last weekend? Me neither."
Next Joke
"Half of reddit is shut down. In unrelated news, productivity rises nation-wide"
"A limerick for Guildford in Surrey At McDonald's in Guildford in Surrey I spilt coffee on my crotch in a scurry I had to act quick To cool down my dick So I stuck it into my McFlurry"
"Pizza is like prostitution You pay for it, it comes over to your house, and then you eat it"
"When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t."
"How many sound guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, two... One, two."
"Hipsters I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is ""conjoined twins""."
"I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree."
"If I were a hairdresser, my business cards would say, ""I'll cut you."""
"""Update your Adobe or you'll be sleeping with the fishes"" - Flash mob"