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Joke of the Day

"Half of reddit is shut down. In unrelated news, productivity rises nation-wide"

"What do a Jewish mother-in-law and 60 Minutes have in common? They both always start with tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk..."

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con"", then what's the opposite of ""progress""? ""Cliche jokes""."

"My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible..."

"Why do Java programmers wear glasses? Because they can't C#."

"I've been offered a new, highly demanding job testing the new Super-strength Viagra'. I think I'll take it, how hard can it be?"

"I stripped naked after losing a bet yesterday. I'm now barred from my local bookies."

"What's the difference between your girlfriend on her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist."

"I hate those who are anti-democracy, anti-freedom or anti-semitic but if there is one anti thing that i like it is Anti-jokes"

"*places empty liquor bottle on shelf for display* I'm An Animal Now Everyone. I Decorate With Trash. Literally An Animal"