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Joke of the Day

"men are so polite woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts."

"My Viagra addiction ..was the hardest time of my life."

"Black Friday has taken all of my money : Robinson Crusoe"

"What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Poop."

"[lying with girlfriend & looking up at the stars] ""Hey--"" *points to shooting star* ""You've put on a lot of weight."""

"Probably the worst part about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute"

"[stunned, eyes lock, a smile exchanged, and I knew it was kismet] *hands cash to lady Ma'am my baby isn't for sale. I SAID I'LL TAKE TWO!!"

"Russian proverb: the church is near, but the road is icy... The pub is far away, but I'll walk carefully."

"If you pretend you're skimming you can straight up throw rocks at people."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for fresh prints."