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Joke of the Day

"What did one butt cheek say to the other? If we stick together, we can stop this crap!"

"""You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!"" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie"

"The UK's economy. That's the joke."

"So my sister is pregnant with her first child. I'm so happy to finally be a father!"

"Why does an octopus have 8 tentacles instead of 6? (OC) Because even god thinks ""Sextapus"" sounds ridiculous. (Note: For purposes of this joke, god both exists, and prefers latin.)"

"Have you heard the one about the bed? No? Then it probably hasn't been made yet."

"How do you pick up a feminist? Like a bowling ball."

"Me: My weight is up. I really hate winter. Him: Don't be discouraged. You'll bounce back in spring once you shave your legs."

"""Your generation relies too much on technology"", my grandpa said. ""No, your generation relies too much on technology"", I replied, then I unplugged his life support."

"Confucius say..... Confucius say man drunk in cemetery make grave mistakes"