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Joke of the Day

"Guy walks into a bar... A guy walks into a bar and drunkenly yells at the bartender, ""I fucked your mother!!"". The bartender says, ""Dad, go home""."

"Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side."

"What did Indian Ocean said to Atlantic Ocean? Nothing.. They just waved."

"My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets."

"A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!"

"Bully: This town isn't big enough for the 2 of us! Me: Oh yeah? Bully: Yeah! Me: Come at me bro *opens town expansion plan* and look at this"

"*Witnesses an awkward moment* starts a slow clap* sees that nobody is joining me* pretends like I'm trying to kill mosquitoes*"

"""Remember,"" said my boss, ""It takes 20 years to build a reputation..."" ""...And only a few seconds to say I had sex with your daughter."""

"Every idiot in Florida just turned on their electric heater & they crashed the grid. Now I'm forced to watch my neighbor sleep in the dark."

"What is Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1"