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Joke of the Day

"""Your resume says you spent 4 years in England. What were you doing?"" *flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* ""Grad school."""

"What was Whitney Houston's favourite kind of co-ordination? Haaaaannnnndd eeeyyyyyyeeeeee"

"Did you hear about the Vietnam veteran who became a sewage worker? He's seen some shit."

"how i look like Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"

"Finally decided to throw away my favourite pair of socks but then i got cold feet"

"Why did the kid steal the fan? He wanted to be cool."

"Do Russia and Uganda realize if they put all their gay people in jail then jail will become the nicest part of their country?"

"A high schooled student becomes a national hero after taking down a school shooter But was expelled because of the schools zero tolerance policy"

"Q: Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning? A: Because he can't see through the wall."

"John Cena vs Jackie Chan vs Leeerroooyyy Jeeennnkiiinnns who wins? Nobody wins. My Senpai can only win. I will make sure of it one way or another......."