140512

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a troll and a goblin? I never come home to find my wife troll up some guys nuts!"

"What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm? Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour."

"What's a feminist's least favorite food? Gender rolls"

"Bouncer: Woah. Dress code Me: This is a suit B: Yeah, a chicken suit. *puts nugget in bouncer's pocket *pats it M: We good? B: Have fun, sir"

"How did Obama react when he heard Donald Trump won for president? [*removed due to copyright infringement*]"

"""Why are you wearing?"" - existentialist reporter on the red carpet"

"Don't ever debate with an absurdist... because you will always chair apple man with hands for eyes."

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."

"The only thing left for CNN to do is drop Wolf Blitzer in the Indian Ocean and see how long it takes to find him."

"""Wow, you look like shit this morning."" ""Really? That's funny because I was totally going for the urination look."""