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Joke of the Day

"Hmmm, why don't we try reincarnation. Here, take this razor blade and I'll leave you alone for a few moments... -me as a therapist"

"Space Joke What did the engineers say to the crew of astronauts after they discovered they didnt install the rockets correctly.... Guys, we really Apollo-gize"

"For a perfectly shaved forearm reach for the last Pringle in the can."

"Every day is the first day of the rest of your life. So I live like a newborn, sleepy and confused."

"How did the medical community come up with the term ""PMS""? ""Mad Cow Disease"" was already taken."

"The fact touche and douche don't rhyme bothers me."

"-Babe, I can't find the condom, what if we don't use it? -Sure, I'm ready to be a mother anyways. -No, no. Look, I found it!"

"The embarrasing email Hillary Clinton doesn't want anyone to know about [deleted]"

"What do you call a hard rock fan going through gender reassignment surgery? A transition metal."

"Don't forget how much dust you're inhaling all the time everywhere."