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Joke of the Day

"For a perfectly shaved forearm reach for the last Pringle in the can."

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"Two atoms are in a bar, Two atoms are in a bar. One says, ""I think I've lost an electron."" The other asks, ""Are you sure?"" To which the first replies, ""I'm positive."""
"If Kung Fu Panda taught me anything, it's that obese people can be accepted...so long as they know kung fu."
"What does a man keep in his pants that often pokes the hole it's poked before? His keys, you filthy-minded bastard."
"If the universe were not absurd, would it make sense? squid"
"*Reads about a Salmonella outbreak on lettuce -NEVER eats Salad again! *Reads about the dangers of Alcohol poisoning -NEVER reads again!"
"Why is Windows going from 8 to 10? Because 7 ate 9. Credit to a guy I work with."
"What did one pencil say to the other? 2B or not 2B?"
"A horse walks into a bar and says, ""On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle?"" The bartender says, ""Y, the long face."""
"What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink? Serving dual porpoises!"