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Joke of the Day

"When I was a teenager, I tried to throw out all my boardgames... My parents were mad that I was throwing my Life away."

"What did the little black kid get on his SAT's? Barbecue sauce."

"How do you find will smith in a snow storm?? Just look for the fresh prints. BOOOM!"

"If you're wearing sunglasses & it's not at all sunny out, you can't get offended when I grab your arm to guide you safely across the street."

"When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice."

"[dinner table] gfs dad: so what do you do for a living me: human trafficking *he chokes* gf: he's a crossing guard dad"

"The NA cs:go scene"

"If you can't afford to get your wisdom teeth removed... Try crystal meth, it really is a miracle drug. *disclaimer: may remove more teeth than expected."

"Carmen Sandiego is probably in San Diego"

"If a girl texts you and asks if you think she's fat and you try to respond ""Nooo"" autocorrect changes it to ""Moo"" so that's pretty cool."