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Joke of the Day

"Fred Willard got arrested for jerking off in a porn theater. Well, at least he can honestly say his newest release is in theaters now!"

"You're a dog person? *Throws a stick* Well? Aren't you going to run after it or are you cool with being a normal human that's also a liar?"

"DILN IS A BADDY HAHAHAHA"

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 jumpers, they can go through 88 stories in 8 seconds."

"What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit"

"Don't study me,,,,you wont graduate!!"

"A woman goes into a sex shop to buy a vibrator... She says to the guy behind the counter ""give me that red one behind you"" he goes ""sorry a fire extinguisher"""

"Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, ""Suck what?"""

"The UK Government has decided to make LSD legal as a drug for weight loss It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it..."

"""Wow, more ABBA. Shocking."" -anyone on road trips with me"